Part 34: A Scene Worthy of Florence Foster Jenkins

Entry 32: A Scene Worthy of Florence Foster Jenkins

Here's what you've all been waiting for:



Norende. The town's been progressing steadily and the item shop's finally ready for its final upgrade. The final prize there is something a bit special, which will be shown off much later.

In the meantime, let's talk about turtles.



More accurately, this fellow. It foolishly decided to block the party's path to Yulyana. Like all fantasy tortoises/turtles, it has crazy high physical defense.



Its major weakness is water/ice, so no problem. Take a mage or two, use Blizzard...



And get the spell thrown back in your face. The boss almost constantly keeps up Reflection Angle, its own version of the Reflect spell. As in other Final Fantasy games, with reflect, any magic cast on the user will be redirected elsewhere/to the caster.



The solution is Sword Magic. A sword magic infused attack counts as physical rather than magical. Blizzara sword magic makes Tiz the champion this battle.



Tortoise friend also has a heavy-hitting multi-target attack, keeping subpar merchant healer Ringabel busy.



This is a quick filler fight, without so much as a cutscene afterwards.



There may be a translation error here. Though called Land Turtle in the data entry, the cutscene kicking off the battle is called Terratoise.



Not sure why a giant tortoise was carrying this. Or is it a section of the tortoise's shell the party carved off? Or... whatever, it makes sense gameplay-wise.



Here's what Agnès stole. Must've gotten stuck in the tortoise's side by some unlucky traveler. Come to think, how does the sage go through here every time he visits Florem? Tough little guy...



Last map for Mount Fragmentium.




The cave exit is a short walk west of the Needleworks. Let's go say hello.



First, allow me to thank you again for your earlier aid.

It allowed us to successfully awaken the Crystal of Wind.

I... I see. Yes, well. Glad to hear I didn't work through the night in vain. Now, what brings you to me this time?

The party explains their situation, every ridiculous detail.



Master, the unparalleled glamor of your creations is the surest key to Agnès's victory!

Honestly, of all the reasons to bring you out here...

When even Sage Yulyana is baffled by your commitment to sexy clothes, you might have an issue.

Very well! Any one piece from my collection of a thousand dresses strong is yours to take!



Edea takes a look around.



Help yourself. Use anything you like.

I feel like you two are starting to spiral out of hand. Remember why we're doing this...

Let us defer to them this once. They are more knowledgeable in such things than I.



Considering Ringabel's enthusiasm, it's going to be a very, very good thing Edea and Tiz are here to moderate the situation.

A short while later, we rejoin the group, though Edea and Agnès aren't visible:





Ringabel takes the dress from the sage and hands it off to Agnès and Edea, who are out of sight in the dressing room above where the sage is standing.



There's a pause with a noise of clothing shuffling around.

I've never worn anything quite so... extravagant.

Veto. It's all wrong. Too showy! The outfit drowns her out. The idea is to draw out her natural beauty, not hide it.

You're a stern critic, my dear.

Master, I fear this outfit lacks conviction. It's lukewarm. Have you anything...hotter?

You're a brave man, Ringabel. Perhaps too brave.



The sage goes to his workshop room and brings something back out.

So extreme was it that every girl to try it on instantly and irrevocably hated me without exception!

Uh

He shows it off to Ringabel.



Edea exits the dressing room and comes to look.



Tiz wanders forward to look.

Avert your gaze, Tiz! You aren't ready! It's too much temptation!

Uh...

But if you did wear it... Your victory would be assured! Such is its terrible power!



How did we end up in this situation, again?









............

Um... Are you, uh... Sir, are you certain this is clothing?

It's clothing! All I say is clothing becomes clothing!

Yes, but it's... The fabric... There isn't any... Are you certain!?

So welcome to the most dissonant scene in the game. There's cheery fun music playing, Ringabel and the Sage are feverishly over the top, but Agnès sounds like she's on the brink of crying.

You spoke of the strength of your determination, vestal. Now, to action!

I did, but that was... This isn't... If I wore this, I... I'd... I'd catch my death of cold!



I'll also mention that my journal states, "Agnès worse sexy clothes. It was awesome."

Agnès, he's lying. I saw his book earlier and it said nothing of the sort.

Ahem. A word of advice? Don't choose the clothes, child. Let the clothes choose you!



Going by her voice, Agnès has clearly started crying. Game's still playing cheery fun music. Someone being pressured into sex-related stuff they're not comfortable with! Ha ha...

Alright, you two. That's enough. The poor girl's near her breaking point.

But what of victory? Don't you want to win?

No! I've said as much from the very beginning...

You've no desire to claim the title of most beautiful for your own!?

Vestal is the only title I require.

If you don't want to wear it, don't wear it.



...There isn't? Then I don't... This is...unacceptable.



They've become a single horny hivemind.



And you, Tiz! You're a teenaged boy! Have you no blood in your veins!?

I feel fine?



...Here lie my dreams, broken.



Hmm. Sex appeal is tricky.

We skip forward in time to evening.



Empty-handed, for all our troubles.

I blame myself for underestimating the beast that is sex appeal.



And why try to tart you up or present you as someone you're not? I say show them you, as you are. I imagine Olivia is a lot more likely to recognize you that way, too.

What if you... I don't know, why don't you wear the vestal garb?

From the rite...



But who around here knows about the vestal garb? Us four, the sage, Olivia...that's it.

Plus, I think that dress looks very pretty on you, Agnès. Er, I mean...

Me, as I am... As the Vestal of Wind.

Thank you, Tiz. You are precisely right.

I shall wear the vestal garb for the festival.

I think that's the right choice.

Well, look at you, Tiz! You little charmer!



The vestal garb is no less a masterpiece of mine than any other. It ought serve you well enough.

With the matter settled, the party rests for the night at the Needleworks.



They set out for the festival the next morning. As the party makes their way through Mount Fragmentium, our perspective shifts to what's going on in Florem...



You. Woman.





Oh, my! Now, whatever is a little girl like you doing out all by herself at this hour?

I hear you're thought to be the likely winner of the upcoming Sacred Flower Festival.

I am! Aren't I pretty? Now, if you want to grow up to be pretty like me, you need your beauty sleep!

Ha. Idiotic plebe.



Now, that's not very...







Like plucking a flower. And flowers so beg to be plucked... The ease of it all is a terrible bore. Don't you agree, Victor?



Hm hmm, let us hope these vestals to the crystals are more entertaining.

By my data, the likely runner-up ought to be strolling past soon. Shall we say hello, Victoria?

Looks like some of our Eternian friends have come to add their own brand of flair to the festival. Forget winning -- will the party survive?


Next: Agnès's charisma score is put to the test.

Title reference: Florence Foster Jenkins - "Adele's Laughing Song" Die Fledermaus

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Event Viewer
Main Scenario:
Yulyana Once More
The Legendary Bravo Bikini
A Dream Dashed
You, As You Are
The Witch's Machinations